Welcome to the page
Dedicated to poems
Penned by Yours Truly
Things Used to Be
Things used to be, now they not
As the great poet Kanye once said.
For you, my heart has bled,
Now it must stop.
For months now I’ve been feeling lost;
Fireworks exploding plans I thought were set
Mind overrun with words left unsaid
But words unsaid are not.
Everything has been discussed,
We’ve been over it a thousand times,
Hashing out our different feelings and emotions.
Even if you don’t have my heart, you’ll always have my trust
No matter where this crazy life us finds
Through all the trials, ups, downs and bullshit
The days pass like mammoths on Bourbon Street
Crashing and dragging through the narrow path
I cannot change what has come to pass
But long to connect, to bridge this gap and speak.
I might want you, but I need peace:
Over the past months I have felt life’s wrath,
I cannot keep focusing on you if I want to last.
I must find a way to finally just BE.
You’ll always be in my heart,
Will forever be a part of my life, my story,
Right now I’m just tryna fill this crater, though.
For all the thanks, I don’t even know where to start
You showed me elegance, love and glory,
Anyway, I love you, thank you, I’ll talk to you later bro
You got me fucked up. Fight for what?
I fought for you for years to no avail,
Now I’m gone and you wanna strut
And act like we in some kind of sick fairytale.
Naw, fuck that fighting shit, I fought too long
Now it’s your turn to lock in
Or walk away and find someone who belongs
But I refuse to join in this goddamn tailspin.
Midnight comes and goes, and still I agonize
I’ve been fighting so long, is this my retirement?
It took me far too long to realize
In you I would not find life’s fulfillment.
And yet, you remain in my thoughts and my pain
Nights like these, I feel myself slowly going insane.
Animated and gesticulating, the professor makes a passionate speech
As my eyelids droop and dance.
My energy is slowly leeched
As this invaluable gift I toss askance
Why do I do this?
Some day, I’ll surely rue this.
Zora Neale Hurston’s complexity is discussed
Their Eyes Were Watching God and Barracoon.
The last couple minutes are always rushed
And we are dismissed all too soon.
To be a student forever would be bliss
But soon all I will have is this reminiscence.
Beautiful pictures ring against the walls
Uplifting and exalting divine black bodies
Poetry sings of peaks and pitfalls
Creating some of the sweetest melodies.
But as soon as class started its done
My bed off in my room beckons.
Get the fuck out!
Evacuate your home,
The time has come to move on.
But where will I go?
Of mercy do you not know?
Why do you treat me like a worthless vagabond?
I don’t give a damn about your feelings, angst or fear
Don’t care where you go, but you’ve got to leave here.
Yeah! and what’s worse is you’re always so loud
And, compared to me, you’re not even half as endowed.
So go on, you heard the man
Pack your shit up and scram
On eviction day new neighbors are chipper.
As the landlord smiles slyly
And winks at them dryly
Another home sold to the highest bidder.
Put me in the eye
Engulfed by the storm
Raging and billowing all around me.
See how I scratch and fight
Even as I’m evicted from my dorm
Verily stripped of human dignity
Enriching myself, I carry on with my life
Reinvigorating my writing in a firestorm
Enjoying the chance at simplicity.
Sink or Swim
There’s a certain peace that comes
When you’re struggling against the waves
and you realize;
You don’t have to fight it.
You can sink into the deep
And it’s all the same.
We all die anyway.
The decision came down, my greatest fears have been realized.
My academic future no longer jeopardized,
I stand amongst the rubble, pulverized,
Struggling to think straight as I am mesmerized
By how quickly I’ve been forced from college.
And yet, this is just what was advertised
Brought down by a hateful contract, agreed to and despised
But now is time to scramble and organize
I have to find a way to balance and stabilize
My life and engross
Myself in literature, poetry, art and immunize
Against complacency, scraping by, and feeling demoralized.
I can almost see the positives in this. Almost…
I’m loopy in the brain
I feel quite insane
But this paper is still hot garbage.
I would promise not to do this again,
But I don’t want to speak in vain.
My record isn’t exactly untarnished
My back groans
My knees moan
At least I can finally go home.
Hundreds showed up
Yet fewer than ten remain.
Some were eliminated by fire, a scorching flame
Others by the rushing waters of floods.
Freezing ice and bitter wind stopped a few in their tracks
Rot and decay picked off a few more.
But the ones that remained were revered and adored
By them, souls were soothed and relaxed.
And yet all are needed, every single one
The scorched, drowned, frozen, rotten and revered.
Though the first four may sound quite weird
Without their walking, the fifth would never have run.
I always know when I’m really broke
Because I think a lot more
About the lottery.
All my problems go up in smoke
And my fantasies become reality
Hopefully I see a day when these thoughts come no more.
The Drink Closet
Sitting in the drink closet at work
I sit by while my duties I shirk
Just passing the time
With these flippant rhymes
I think about my paycheck and smirk.
In an office so comfy, I sit another day
Closer to being fired, but I’m still getting paid
I toe the line
And know I’ll be fine
I don’t give a fuck what my bosses say
The day has finally come
With my shit, my bosses were done
They said “have a good day
Come back in two weeks for your pay”
I’m unemployed but it won’t matter in the long run.
Concrete expanses and angry people
Just trying to survive in their own.
Some pull others down, in hopes of being equal
Others sit back and watch the whole thing unfold.
The streets of life have never been easy
But brave souls walk them every day.
Whether they feel up, down, or sleazy
Cities, towns countries, lives are by them controlled.
So let not life’s up and downs defeat you
Oh lord, for your strength and mine I pray.
But remember this advice, I beseech you
Find someone you love and grab ahold.
Life is hard for some and harder for others
We all gotta lean on parents, sisters, brothers and lovers.
Only you can live your life, don’t try living another
Don’t hole yourself up and close the shutters.
I climb the gallows and place my head down
The coppery smell of blood and death assaults me.
It won’t be long before I leave this town
A departure of spirit, if not bodily.
The executioner steps forward, his hands on the lever
I plead “Have mercy, Doctor, on my humble life”
Mercy doesn’t live here though; this is the end of my endeavor
This man is a reaper, the guillotine his scythe.
All at once, the lever is pulled
The blade quickens towards my neck.
My future I once marketed to these merchants and sold
Now all I can do is sit and wait for their beck.
These pinings shall soon end though
With the swift slice of my throat.
The breaking of bones, sinews snapping to and fro
And a gush of blood as I choke.
My head will bounce and they will applaud
“Another bad egg removed, we’re closer to purity.”
If I had known they thought me so flawed
I would have never sold them my destiny.
In the end, it doesn’t matter. It’s all life anyway.
Though I really do wish I could stay.
It’s too late for all that for on this executioner block I lay
I’m all out of time now, here comes the blade.
I said I’d make it to all my classes on time
“That missing classes shit is dead”
Now look where the fuck I am
Laying asleep in bed.
I disgust myself on many occasions
Skipping classes, shirking homework just to smoke weed
Don’t get me wrong, I got nothing against blazin’
But getting high during class just doesn’t sit right with me.
But screw it, I don’t really give a shit
Just make sure that blunt is pulling right.
I think the other end needs to be lit
I’m so damn high, my classes are outta sight
And mind. But not my peers; they absorb knowledge, I THC
Maybe that’s why I’m dropping out and they’re getting degrees
First love, then loss, tugged my heart deep into the unknown
Pain and joy, sorrow and jubilee all found me there.
In youth, these extremes softened my soul, then turned it back to stone
Yet now, I enjoy everything. Changing? I wouldn’t dare.
Yes, now I simply ride the emotional sea of life,
Not fretting about the feelings that used to rock my boat.
I’m finally content and relaxed, even as wind and waves fill my vessel with strife
For I know that I will remain afloat.
Love, loss, death and sorrow are formidable foes
Please don’t misconstrue my boasts of confidence.
But to them, myself never again shall I predispose
As long as its within my power of cognizance
And yet, exposed to love I am already
I adore and cherish her, and the sea feels unsteady
She could never be repeated
My love, a sweet song
A symphony of beauty,
Grace and love plucks at my heart strings
Crimes of the Court
Brothers and sisters, look: watch whiteness work
As a rapist rises to our nation’s highest court.
The country lauds him as a genius; their morals contort
And yet, if he were not white they would be going berserk
Let it be Eric Garner, Trayvon, or any other Young Turk
But they were all extrajudicially executed, no time for hearings or support.
Yes, it seems whiteness is a universal veil in which ethics are distorted
As hicks and politics their “christian” values they shirk.
Wake up all you sheep, unwittingly going to slaughter
Do not stand by and promote this monster
Let’s call these rapists, these murderers what they are
What if she had been your wife, mother or daughter?
Man the fuck up and have some honor
Because this “he was mentally ill” or “he ain’t know better” shit won’t get us far
As I walk through the wilderness, I come to a fork
The left or the right? Was the question posed to me
I’d been thinking left, so I thought I’d see
Where this path leads. To the left I went forth.
This way was not without hardship, I expected some of course
But the path soon turned sinister, testing me with hellish fury
Each obstacle was followed by another, daunting and beastly.
My muscles strain, brain throbs, heart beats with terrific force
And still I persevere with defiant strength
These tests may break a weaker man, not I though
There’s no possibility of failure. Quit? Not a chance.
No, I am determined to go the length.
Stopping now would kill me; I’d rather die alone.
Besides, I see an oasis in the distance.
Cracks run up, down, throughout
With little pockmarks like a mini moon
Exploding from the inside out
Foreshadowing a future of dust and ruin.
This brick, like some that came before
May stand for thousands of years, maybe more.
But, like all things it will have its day
When it stops standing and on the ground will lay
When I looked upon her I knew I was done for
Her raw beauty, soft eyes, and loving heart had me.
I pursued her like a commoner would a queen
And she accepted my love, to my glee.
She makes me feel like a boat just come ashore
After a night so long and stormy.
For this, I heap affection upon her like a machine
And she accepts this love, to my glee.
It has now been a year, but I still adore
Her every move, smile and decree.
She’s amazing, spectacular, everything I ever dreamed
And she accepts my love, to my glee.
If I could live for a thousand years more, I’d love her every second I breathed
And she’d accept this love to my everlasting glee.
You Are My Everything
The clouds I walk on
The flutter in my heart
The energy coursing through my veins
and the love overwhelming my soul.
You’re the jazz lingering in my head
The sweet, smooth notes coming from my sax
You’re my companion, waiting for me when I come to bed
And the calming elixir that helps me relax.
You, the melody, harmony and drumbeat
keeping the whole band on track
You love me at my best
and you keep loving me when I lack
You’re the director, the soloist
and the sheet music too
This symphony would be absolutely nothing
You’re my everything, girl
and I know I say this a lot
But I love you so much
and I’m never gonna stop
What one sees as evil
Is to another the gospel
and the same is true vice versa.
We must give up this insidious game of hate
Before it mortally hurts us.
Buddhist, Christian, muslim or witch
One shouldn’t give a shit
Except for about what they are doing,
who they are, and how to make sense of it.
Whatever being that be or god that may exist,
for now we have each other.
Just try your best to be your best
and love your sisters and brothers.
Quit placing so much emphasis on the names and forms
that others choose to worship.
Just love, thats all
and focus on Your own conscious
I’m stretching my hand to you
But you’re just out of grasp
I try to bridge this gap
so this love can last
I’m hoping, trying
but can only love you in spurts
I want to love you all the time though
and that only makes it worse
I love you, I do
With all of my heart
I’ll tend and care for this love
As if it were my last
But in that care, I won’t forget me or you
What we are together is nothing if we aren’t something apart
Because no matter what, I love you
I could never stop caring for your ass
Theres something about you, baby
That I just can’t place
It’s not your body,
your hair, nails or beautiful face.
It’s all of you together
with your soul so pure
My chest has stopped hurting,
My heartache is cured!
And yet when I see you,
My sternum explodes.
You may be the cure,
But tonight I wanna overdose.
You’re in the door and I’m kissing,
touching, drinking you in.
I’m just tryna give you all this love
Before I’m banished again.
The Nature of Man
The river that gathers
from many tributaries and offshoots.
The tree that extends high in the sky
anchored by its deep, expansive roots.
The mountain extending
up from the sea, high into the sky.
The person with passion
dancing in their heart, ablaze in their eye.
I realize now
People and places are like clothes.
One day they fit perfectly
And the next they are no longer yours.
I don’t say yours possessively,
But merely to express the comfort one day,
Then the feeling the next
That it is time to leave this place.
Thank you South Dakota,
Everyone in this state I call home.
I love you all, but it’s time;
I must embark on this journey alone.
Inhale, look within
Realize your luck in life
Exhale, be happy.
I so loved Summer…
I so loved Summer last season
And you were the reason–
The amber sunsets too–
Because these you so loved to admire,
I so loved you.
This year, last season’s feeling I can’t recover–
My heart’s passion no longer aflame.
This year, I shall love Summer for Summer,
And admire the sunsets all the same.
An old friend laughs, deep from her gut
Soft eyes look back, reflecting a happiness from within.
Whenever we used to be alone, the conversation hit a rut
But now, it flows out as we laugh and grin
Thanks to my mother, thanks to my dad
For this wonderful, still-giving gift that I have.
Steinbeck, Hemingway, Marquez and Camus
Of course, for the gift of reading, thanks also to school.
Each book that is bound contains an entire new perspective
Some I’ll read in English, and some in electives.
Wherever I read them, the knowledge is never quite the same
Some authors are painfully rational, and others insane.
Whenever, however, the reading is done
Each unique experience is utterly fun.
Just finished with East of Eden, lent it to my mama
Next on the list? The Book of Joy by Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama
When I picture a man I see my Dad
His smile beaming, his brow furrowed in thought
As I sit here and think, a recent grad
My soul writhes with pain, love, and lessons you taught
So deep was your love and passion for life
So complete was the agony after you were gone.
You taught me morality, honor, and ambition when you were alive
Your death was the final lesson.
Through it, you taught sorrow and fortitude,
Pain and empathy, and the true meaning of death.
For all of my good qualities, morals, all the knowledge I’ve accrued,
Thank you for everything Dad; your love, my life, my breath.
One day, I’ll get to see you again.
Until then, I love you Dad. Amen.
Parting from the soil once called home,
And saying goodbye to friends of many years,
leaving for the road to roam.
Deja vu swells in my breast
And yet I feel the difference.
A rich, full nineteen years is my training;
I’m ready for the test.
Thank you to my loved ones
For all that you have done
But I’m more than ready for D.C.
Howard, here I come.